Text Box: Wanted: MLA Participation, Province-Wide

 

Gord & Sharrie Dahl look at a photo of their deceased daughter and the four children she left behind.

Photo by: Evan Seal, The Leader — June 17, 2008
Text Box: Dynamic Duo Interviews for “The Daily” Text Box: A Family’s Loss - on “Surrey Leader” Text Box: If you were watching Shaw TV’s “The Daily”, in June, you likely saw Karen Elgersma host a 5-minute segment on this special duo! Dale has raised her granddaughter, Cora, as a single-grandparent since she was a toddler. Each shared reflections on their journey. Dale discussed the importance of providing her granddaughter with a safe, permanent home. Cora has definitely inherited Text Box: the musical talents of her grandmother, an accomplished musician. The project team and TV crew had the good fortune of hearing these songbirds sing a beautiful rendition of Judy Garland’s “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. Pieces of which were played within the segment. Cora, who has now entered into her teen years, is a very bright, outgoing young woman. She spoke fondly of her close friends who, like Cora, have a high Text Box: regard for her grandmother. That’s not to suggest that life has been easy for these two. Dale encouraged viewers to reach out to similar families in their own neighbourhood who need compassion, acceptance and support. Barbara Whittington, Project Co-Chair, joined the interview to discuss common challenges grandparents and grandchildren face. Text Box: to live on her own. “Our family needed help: I went searching for somewhere where we could get a feeling we’re not alone,” said Sharrie. The search was difficult. Sharrie hopes the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Legal Research Project can help grandparents find the help they need. Practical resources can help grandparents learn how to re-parent and know what their legal rights are. Sharrie believes grandparents are increasingly stepping up to the plate to keep their family together: “They’ve already lost their children to drugs. You can beat yourself up about it, ‘where did I go wrong with my son or daughter’, but they come to an age where they make their own choices, and sometimes they make bad choices.” Text Box: Grandparents are hurt by the loss of a child, and the grandchildren are hurt by the loss of a parent. It’s a difficult situation to deal with, yet few people know the problem is out there. Sharrie hopes to change that, and wants elected officials to find a way to make a difference: “There are a lot of grandparents who need to go to the food bank. Some are going without their medication so they can afford medication for their grandchildren. Every story’s different, but they all unite around the same issue: these children want to be loved. They’ve been orphaned… it’s a road no one prepares for and there are challenges everyday.” Text Box: Surrey Leader Article “Grandparents Raising Grandchildren”: Published June 17, 2008 (adapted for this newsletter) Sharrie and Gord Dahl thought they were finished raising children. They moved into an adults-only apartment building and were planning on living quietly into old age. Then their daughter, who had drug and alcohol troubles committed suicide in 2003, leaving four children behind. The Dahls proceeded to secure custody of one grandson, who suffers from fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS). Another grandchild was placed into the care of his biological father; another was adopted, and another was old enough to decide where to live and chose

Grandparents are too old to raise children

It’s not really on a “permanent” basis

Grandparents can afford raising grandchildren

The generation gap is too wide
Text Box: Special Announcements from our Project Co-Chairs

Phone: 250.384-8042 or 1.800.377.0212                 Fax: 250-384-8043

E-mail: grg@parentsupportbc.ca www.parentsupportbc.ca/grg_legal.html

 
Text Box: Issue 1 Text Box: Page 7 Text Box: Purchase our Supporting Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Resource Booklet for $20, to familiarize yourself with common issues grandparents face. Keep communicating with us. Get copies of our new legal resource materials as soon as possible. These resources will enable your office and grandparents to know the laws associated with legal custody, guardianship, child care benefits, child protection, wills and estates, public trustee, and more. The information will help grandparents make informed decisions on legal options that best suit their family needs. HELP US CIRCULATE OUR SURVEY to as many grandparents as possible. We can mail your local office several copies of the survey to circulate. See p. 1 for information on the on-line survey option. Get to know your local GRG families and advocate for resources and changes most needed in your constituency and the Province.

Project members would like to thank MLA Carole James (NDP member for Victoria-Beacon Hill) for meeting with us in July, 2008.  Ms. James spoke fondly of her own grandparents who played a very integral role in her upbringing.

Members of the Legislative Assembly province-wide are a key contact for thousands of grandparents raising grandchildren who are desperate for help and feeling overwhelmed trying to access essential services and assistance.

Referrals are a common need for grandparents, and it can be exhausting to knock on yet another door, only to find an agency that does not know how to help.

There are many ways MLAs and their offices can assist at local and Provincial levels.  We call on your immediate support.

HOW YOU CAN HELP:

1. Contact us and we’ll get you updated on resources available.
Text Box: Carol Ross (Parent Support Services Society of BC) and Barbara Whittington (School of Social Work, University of Victoria) have some important news to share: Farewell: Alvina Snell has been completing her BA in Justice Studies through Royal Roads University during her role as Project Coordinator. She has made the difficult decision to leave the project as of September. Her contributions and wonderful contacts helped get us all started. Given the special GRG families she’s come in contact with, we know this initiative, and future ones, will always remain important to her. Thank you from the Legal Project Advisory for your passion and commitment Alvina. Introduction: Carrie Wright-Donaldson will be the new Project Coordinator to carry the project through to its completion. As a child, Carrie spent many years being raised by her grandmother. Her professional achievements include a background in social services and Masters in Counselling. Carrie has also completed the Parent Support Circle Facilitator training. Carrie is well equipped and eager to proceed in supporting grandparents in the community. Please join us in welcoming Carrie!

Carrie Wright-Donaldson,  Project Coordinator

c/o Parent Support Services

941 Kings Road, Victoria, BC  V8T 1W7

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Legal Research Project

Part II...

Carrie Wright-Donaldson,  Project Coordinator

c/o Parent Support Services

941 Kings Road, Victoria, BC  V8T 1W7

Phone: 250.384-8042 or 1.800.377.0212                 Fax: 250-384-8043

E-mail: grg@parentsupportbc.ca www.parentsupportbc.ca/grg_legal.html

 

Submissions

MUST be in by

September 30, 2008

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Legal Research Project

In partnership with
Text Box: Please note: approximately 10 submissions from each option will be used. However, we would like to scan all of the submissions to display on our webpage. There’s no rule on what kind of picture is needed, just show us your creativity and thoughts on what life is like with your grandparent(s). Be sure to include your first name (only) and age on your drawing or sentence. We’ll need your grandparent to cut Text Box: To all those beautiful grandchildren out there, we invite you to participate in our project. Option #1: Please complete the following sentence: “My grandparents mean a lot to me, because…..” Option #2: Create artwork for us! We would need it on blank (8 1/2 X 11”) paper, not your grandparent’s wall, like this little guy did! Text Box: out and sign the permission slips below and include it in your submission. We hope to print it in colour, but we may need to convert it to black and white. Please mail your original though, so that we have a clean, crisp copy. Enjoy! With special thanks from the Project Team! Text Box: Wanted: Grandkid Creativity Text Box: Special Offer The name of each child who sends in their submission will go into the Project Team’s hat. On September 30th, 2008 we will pick the lucky name to win a $50.00 gift certificate to Toys R’ Us. We will contact you if your grandchild is the lucky winner! Text Box: Page 8 Text Box: Issue 1

Permission Form

(Please cut out and include with the submission)

I am the legal guardian of (enter your grandchild’s first name only)                                                               ,  and I grant permission for  their art work or sentence to be published in the Grandparent Raising Grandchildren Legal Research Project’s resource materials. 

I understand that my grandchild’s submission may not be published, but may be part of a compilation of kids submissions to be made public on the project’s webpage.

In partnership with

GRG:  Myths and Realities

Project perspective - based on survey & session feedback held to date

Myths:

Realities:

 

 

What children need is safety, permanency and stability. If that’s provided—age doesn’t matter.  We met several 70-80 yr olds, raising school-aged kids (mostly teenagers) who were coping well.  The majority of participants in our project (75%) are younger than 65 yrs old.

 

 

Our studies tell us the majority of living situations are long term:  44% grandparents surveyed have been raising their grandchild(ren) for 5-10 years.  Another 33%, between 2-5 years.  Many grandparents report they hoped the situation would be temporary so their grandchild(ren) could safely reunite with their parent(s). 

 

 

Ironically, the few we’ve met who can afford to raise their grandchildren express concern for others who cannot.  Expenses first tend to go to the legal costs associated with obtaining formal custody.

 

Many grandparents don’t legally formalize their situation for fear of “losing” their grandchildren.  51% surveyed are below the $40K household income bracket. 

Many seek employment, re-mortgage or sell their home to meet expenses.  80% surveyed use their savings, and many report that their savings are depleting, rapidly.

Some grandparents leave (or lose) their employment because of the childcare demands that result (e.g. infants, children with special needs, disability, attachment anxiety).

Some report having to give their grandchildren up for foster care or adoption, because they could not get equivalent supports a foster or adoptive parent could.

 

 

Grandparents would agree about this on some levels, but not for the reasons you might think. 

Many express feeling ostracized and/or judged, particularly by the younger generation involved with them:  teachers, social workers, parents, health and child development workers. Often their own friends from previous social circles can pull away.  Social isolation is a significant hardship for these families.

 

Grandchildren are often very fragile - making it difficult to build their own solid friendships.  When both feel isolated, the generation gap is much more noticeable.  Community involvement and social activities support these families.